Sunday, January 22, 2012

Women, what do you want in a man? Do you have a list?

Does it look something like this:
* romantic
* funny
* tall
* strong
* looks equally good in a jacket and tie or jeans and t-shirt
* always there for me
* sensitive
* can grow a good beard

What do you like to do together? Long walks on the beach, holding hands...gazing intently into each other's eyes...

Are you longing for a knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet and take you to his castle far away (but not too far away).

What do you want with a boyfriend? Spend endless hours on the phone or Skype talking about every detail of your day? Dream about your future? Go out to movies? Celebrate your anniversary every month? Cuddle on the couch watching movies?

Men, is this where you are, too? 

Gazing for hours with your chin on her laptop, puppy dog eyes, getting scratched behind the ears?
Have you willingly stuck your neck out for that collar and leash? Are you at her beck and call...only to get zapped in the collar if your attention should wander, or your family needs you, or you have to work an extra shift, or...

Listen up:

Men, if you really, truly care about her (even if you do not know who she is yet), then you will work your A$$ OFF fingers to the bone to slay that debt dragon and win that castle. If you want to be that knight in shining armor, then get your wagging tail out there and work two jobs if you have to, get that education, pay it off, buy that house or chock it all into savings for a down payment. Buy a junker car that will get you to work until you can afford the nicer car. You cannot have it all now, but you can work for it -- that's the American dream.

Women, if you really want that fairy tale life, then get rid of the puppy dog boyfriend, and look for the man who is willing to give everything he has for you. The one who will put the dreaming on hold long enough to build the reality that becomes the dream.

He is out there, but he won't wear a collar.  
You don't have to worry about where he will go, though, 
because he is doing it all for you, and when he has it all together, he is going to sweep you off your feet and build that life with you. That life that he gave all he had for. That life that he dreamed of sharing with you.

Oh, yes, he is dreaming. Every minute that he is not studying for that exam, every time he drives to and from that crappy job that will get him through until he has the career he worked hard for, every lunch hour when he sees that boy co-worker across the break room (who is spending his entire lunch time texting and not having enough time to make lunch because she demands his entire focus),
yes, he is dreaming...

dreaming of you

dreaming of the children he would love to have with you
dreaming of the swing set and jungle gym in the back yard that he longs to build, because he had one (or didn't have one) of his own
while the boy guy across the room dreams of the new exhaust system he is going to put on the car he owes more on than it is worth any more

Yes, he is dreaming, all right. He isn't likely to talk about those dreams too much, though. He is waiting to make them happen. He is waiting for you. He is waiting to surprise and delight you with their reality.
He is wary of the bumps in the road and the bends around which he cannot see.

He wants to be trusted.
He wants to be believed in.
He wants to be loved

He is strong, a little wild, and fiercely loyal.

He will 
defend you
cherish you
provide for your needs (and even your wants)

He will not
abandon his family for you (remember, he is fiercely loyal)
be controlled (but you won't need to)
abandon you
be able to read your mind
give you the very best money can buy -- not yet (you do want something to look forward to, don't you?)

So, women, don't settle for the puppy dog boy
Hold out for the bull dog man

Here is how you will know the difference:
He doesn't have a cool car (it will probably have a bit of rust, and maybe the door knob doesn't always work...)
He doesn't wear designer clothes (unless they are handed down)
He doesn't hang out at the
movie theater
He is busy
volunteering at church
watching the nieces and nephews
shoveling mom and dad's driveway, mowing the lawn, fixing the steps
working two jobs
You will find him.
He is out there.
Waiting for you.
Looking at the top of the tree, not on the ground.

If you are there, he will find you.