Monday, March 18, 2013

The New Reality

She says it here. This lady named Ann who found her voice in giving thanks for 1,000 gifts.
radical has to be the Christian’s new normal, that radical isn’t radical but the regular to the disciple of Christ
 And I keep reading about her trip to Haiti, the boys, the Bibles, the thirsty land. I've heard of this thirsty land before. One of our pastors took his family there to live for a while, to bring living water to this dry and thirsty land, a land of thanks-givers who have nothing compared to us, and yet everything.

And her words cut me right through. No, the Holy Spirit cuts through the deception, the self-serving, the thick skin that I put on to keep from hurting. And I see myself a little more clearly, and I don't like what I see. I could turn away, forgetting what I look like. But I keep reading.
...and who is ready to have less so we all have something, or do we all want everything so most get nothing?
We’ve got all of God. Why not share the rest?
Or maybe we don’t — because we don’t really have Him at all?
And I know how I hold back from giving of myself. I hear myself saying, "I want to be there. I want to get for a while."

I am so tired of plowing and sowing, plowing and sowing, plowing and sowing...and just when it looks like there might be a harvest, another pastor leaves from shame or sheer exhaustion. We have seen seven come, six go, and finally we left. Tired, hungry, wounded...and I no longer blame any of those who have gone before, over the 27+ years, while we stayed, plowing and sowing, plowing and sowing. When comes the rejoicing? When comes the carrying the sheaves?

And I just want to sit a while. I am thirsty now, and want to soak it up from others for a while. I want to be there.

And we were asked to be here again. To have meetings once a week. No, I say. I want. I want to be there. Once or twice a month will still give me time to be there without here being too inconvenient.

And there is thirst.

And I read on...
I read about the boy begging for food or drink and receiving the Bread of Life and his huge grin.
And I know what it is about, and what it is about is not me.

In tears, I cry "uncle!" Tell him we will do it here, in our home. Yes. Every week, if that is what is wanted, needed. I give.

I have been thirsty. And in my thirst, I've kept the water for myself, and the fountain has stopped.

John 4:13-14

13 Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
When I give again, it is promised that my water will turn into a well for those around me in need.

I give.

 A Holy Experience


  1. Ann has an uncomfortable way of putting things in perspective, doesn't she? I completely understand your weariness and your hurt. You, however are a faithful warrior, one of the remnant and called ones. I am touched by your willingness to lay your life down, and I will be praying for you. I will.

    1. Michele, thank you for your kind words. I thank you so much for your support and your prayer.

      Yes, Ann has a way of bringing things right down to the depths of the heart.

      You can see that more than once she has inspired me to look down deep. I am thankful for that, because it stretches me. I do not want to look at myself and turn away, forgetting what I looked like.