How Not to Let Your Heart Break

I flew across the country on my birthday. Leaving behind all that is familiar and comfortable, I knew this would be wonderful and terrible all at once.

I have been here before, to the City by the Bay. I always say, "It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there." Truth be told, my flesh spirit would not want to live there.

When the lights go down in this city, and the sun shines on the Bay, if you are out on the streets you will see sleeping bags stirring on the sidewalks and hotels hosing off the debris from the night. Thousands live without conveniences, and call it a simple life. Many choose to call the sidewalks their homes, staking out claims on public property with no mail boxes. Arguments ensue if you are close enough and late enough to overhear...this is MY spot...I've been here for all this time..

If you are coming home from work, or a conference, or shopping...you may see a girl on Fourth Street, tangled hair, looking down, sitting on the walk by the street facing toward pedestrians with a white Guinea pig and white cup at her crossed legs.

If you are having a happy conversation with colleagues, recounting the day behind, planning the time ahead...you may be approached by a large black man, knuckles outstretched, singing a song for you to join in...fist-bumps ensue, then hand turns palm upward. "Have ya got a dolla' for me?" And seeing a wallet full, he will ask for a second dollar. Then a third.

What can one person do? Thousands sleep in open air, beg for the next ten cents, fifty cents, dollar. An Asian lady crushes water bottles so as to fit more into her meager bag, using a reaching tool to pull back one that rolls out of reach. I want to pick it up for her.

I want to look that girl in the face - the one with the white Guinea pig - and ask her, "What are you doing here?" Doesn't she have a mother who cares? A grandmother? What if she does not?

What am I to do?

I rationalize...if you feed one, he will tell his friends. Next thing you know, there are a dozen. Like the sea gulls at the park.

I ask my soul what Jesus would do.
At the pool of Bethesda, he healed only one.
But at other homes and in the wilderness, he fed and healed all.

This isn't working.

It is a complicated issue, I counter with myself.

I am only here for five days.

In the end, what do I do? I fill my thoughts with what I need to do next...the t-shirts for the children in my life...the Park I haven't seen yet...the new friend waiting for today's adventure. This is how I cover my heart.

This is how I keep my heart from falling at my feet, shattered, broken, spent...

Foldable shopping bag project -- part 1

Last year, before our trip to San Francisco, I bought some foldable shopping bags to keep in my purse to whip out when shopping. It's a good thing, too, since they had just begun charging extra for bags at stores.

Unfortunately, these bags were not as durable as I expected.

As you can see, the seams on the handles came unstitched. This was from normal use.

So, recently I began searching online for do-it-myself folding tote bags. After some careful studying and comparing of different patterns and styles, I dove in today and made one of my own. I have to say, I'm pretty pleased with it!

I started with some fabrics I had on hand. The beige linen is left over from a skirt I made a few years ago, and the floral print from a vest. I went to JoAnn Fabrics to pick up the snaps, button, and bias binding.

Pictures coming tomorrow...stay tuned...

Faithful Friends

Some men brought to him a paralytic, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven." (Matthew 9.2)

Then Jesus healed the man. Jesus healed many, many times. John tells us in chapter 21 of the Gospel he wrote:

Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

For some reason, there are particular events that the disciples chose to relate to us. This one touched me especially this morning, because there are times and seasons when my faith is weak. I believe God can heal, but will he? Does he really want to do this for me right now?

In Matthew 9, it was their faith - the combined faith of the man and his friends - which caught Jesus' attention. Do you see it, too? It was not dependent on the paralyzed man's faith alone. I love this!

I love the way the Word of God meets my needs, tells me God can touch me, heal me, speak to me right where I am. I do not need to get to a better place - have more faith, get my act together, stop sinning, or understand it all - before God will listen to me. He takes me right where I am today, with all my weakness, faithlessness, and stumbling ways.

He is good. May I learn to be good like Him.